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Blessing Others
Chuck Watson, Hospice Volunteer
spoke these words to over 1000 people at the
2007 Annual
"Lighting the Path" breakfast.
During a recent Sunday service at 1st Baptist Church of
Kennewick, Pastor Phil Paulson displayed a picture of a grave. The headstone
on this grave was a replica of a parking meter. On the face of this “parking
meter” were the words, “TIME EXPIRED.”
The question presented was, “Would it make a difference if you knew in
advance when your time would expire? Would you change your behavior? Your
focus? Your priorities?” If you had a choice, would you want to know in
advance that your time was about to expire, or would you rather it happened
suddenly and not see it coming?
Mary Schwartz, in Tuesday’s With Maury, once said, “Everybody knows
they’re going to die, but nobody believes it.” This pretty much described
me; that is until the results of a routine physical a few years ago turned
my world upside down.
I was diagnosed with an incurable stage
of cancer. I suddenly found myself face-to-face with the certainty of my
own impending death.
Before this cancer experience I believed if I
was to die I’d rather have it happen suddenly—unexpectedly. I’ve changed my
mind. I’d rather know death was coming. You see, this cancer has been a
blessing in many ways. The greatest of these has been the gift of time.
It’s given me the time to fall in love with my family
all over again, time to get my finances in order, time to make amends, time
to develop a relationship with God, which has made the
difference, and time to come to terms with death.
Bette Cooper, the Executive Director of The Chaplaincy
earlier mentioned that Each of us involved with The Chaplaincy has come with
our own story.
I became involved because I was afraid - afraid of
dying.
Previously I had discovered that the best way to control fear
was to face it, even to step into it. With this in mind, I began
researching death and dying. During this process I was introduced to the
concept of Hospice and began to feel an inner urge to volunteer. I attempted
to ignore this urge. How could watching someone die not frighten me more?
But the urge to become involved wouldn’t let go! Eventually, I gave in and
became a Hospice volunteer and oh, how grateful I am!
I’ve had the privilege of
providing companionship and support for people during their last days, and
in this process they, unexpectedly, have been some of my greatest teachers.
My cancer prognosis seemed to allow a unique “kindred spirit”
relationship to quickly develop with some. Not only was I able (hopefully)
to provide companionship and support for them, they seemed lifted by the
realization of a renewed purpose in helping me.
I wish everyone could experience the power of deep,
unguarded, sharing of the soul I’ve had in these encounters. There is so
much courage to be found, fears to be lost, and lessons to be learned.
Through these discussions I’ve found a tendency to
focus on three primary things.
1. What’s next?
The power
of God is very evident here. Those who have faith seem to find a peace
where others struggle.
2. Will my family be OK?
Often, permission to let go is needed from the
family, along with reassurance that loved ones will be OK, sad, but OK.
3. Was I significant in this life?
This is a time of deep personal reflection on how they lived their life.
Even those of little or no faith are hit with the importance of
relationships. There is pain in unresolved conflicts with loved ones, and a
tendency for regret in self-serving life. One of the greatest of these
teachers was a former Kennewick dentist, dying of Lou Gehrig’s disease.
During one of our visits he said, “You know, I regret the times when my
priorities were money, building my business, the big house, cars and
vacations...I became so caught up in myself and ‘success’ that I lost my
first family. I was selfish.” When asked what he felt good about, “The
fact that I found God changed everything. With God’s grace I found a new
family...I feel good about the times I helped people without expecting
something in return. That’s what it’s all about you know. It’s about
reaching OUT TO God and other people. I only wish I would have learned this
earlier.”
I’ve learned that what’s important in
this life is not what many of us strive for through power, position, or
possessions. It’s not about how much you’ve gained that’s important; it’s
about how much you gave. It’s not how well you were served, its how well you
served.
My hospice experience has
been a Godsend. My original motive was to learn about dying, and in the
process, I learned about living. Someone once said, “Success is measured by
the lives you’ve touched along the way.” My experience with hospice and
these wonderful people has driven this message home. I’m convinced God has
blessed me with this entire experience. My
responsibility and desire now is to use it to bless others.
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